give us free!

It's been a rough week. I am thoroughly ready for the weekend and for a new circumstance. A few of my co-workers are just out of control. But enough about that, because I have certainly devoted too much time and brain space to them.
My hair is growing back. I can feel the new growth, which makes me happy. I'm hoping by the time my sweetie gets home for good I can put it in a ponytail again. But for now the natural look is easy to maintain and looks pretty cute most days.
Ugh, I just ran out of steam. Don't you hate that? Oh well. Today's outfit: my new butterfly jeans (so cute!), cream top, navy laceless chucks, and fabulous headband. Oh, and my gold hoops. Simple, but apparently adorable, I got compliments lol. Yay for not having court and taking a short day. There's the good thing about getting paid in vacation time...I can take half days and not worry about depleting my stash of hours cuz we earn an extra day each month! Alright, I'm off to look busy for the next 20 minutes before I wander home for a nap and toddler madness.

annoyed

I've been fighting with my sister via email all day. I am so so tired of her defensive attitude. You really can't say anything to her cuz she gets all pissy and defensive. I am usually decent at putting myself in other people's shoes, but I could never really walk in hers. I have tried, but I just don't see myself there. It's frustrating. I'm so sick of thinking about it, of being mad about it, but it's stuck in my head. And it doesn't help having to be at work focused on other stuff when I want to stew lol. I keep praying, but it must be half hearted. Lord give me the wisdom to say (or not lol) what needs to be said. More importantly, I give you the frustration of this burden. I let you carry this for me so that I can continue to walk my path without anger clouding my vision. I thank You that the situation is already under control and Your Hand is already in it, doing what needs to be done. Now I really do feel better lol.
I quit smoking today :)
Oh, and I'm wearing cream pants (that are getting too big!!!), coral floral tank top, cream sweater, gold mary jane flats, and random brown jewelry. Gotta get back into that. My how I've missed this...

iraq

So my boyfriend is deployed to Iraq. That is sucky, but (generally) not as sucky as people think. I don't like telling people because they get all "aww, poor you" about it, and I don't see it that way. I'm really proud of him and what he's doing. And considering that even when he's not deployed he lives 12 hours away, it's not like this is a huge change for me.
Except today.
Today I am sick and tired. I just want to curl up in his t-shirt and sweats on the couch and have him rub my achy belly while we watch crappy tv.

happy November

My sister bought me a blackberry as an early birthday present. I am loving my big girl phone!
I have to admit, I generally update at work, but last week my supervisor thought it would be cool to give us as much work as possible. I'm not complaining (yet), just saying. She is my latest struggle. There are five perple in my division. Three of us are under 30 and my supervisox and another woman are old enough to be our mothers. This may sound arrogant, but I really think she is intimidated by my age and education. I can't help that people like me.I'm just a likable kinds person, hater. So I'll show her by doing a fabulous job. I am a big fan of killing people with kindness.
My car is back in commission! Keep praying please!
Friday's outfit was my pseudo jeans copper shrug sweater, brown tank, and rocket dog clogs.

No deep titles today

My car is sick. I am so so sad. But on the upside, yesterday I received confirmation that I didn't mishandle the situation with my friend the other day. It's interesting how some relationships are always easy, no matter how much time has passed. Is that a hallmark of a true friendship? I envy men some days because they don't really have to think about stuff like this. On the other hand, women don't get blue balls ;)

Today's outfit: baby blue off the shoulder sweater, gray cords, black and silver flats with bows, wide grey belt, grey bracelet.

Jesus vs. Jeezy

I'm saved. Yes, we're talking the churchy kinda saved. The kind where you go up to the altar and feel such a weight lifted cuz you're not going to hell!! Woot! Did I mention this happened about a decade ago? I've wandered in and out of churches since then. Backsliding you could say (and you'd be right). Now here I am, all graduated from college, working the big girl job and getting my adult life together. I avoided church for awhile cuz I'm not really a fan of churchy people. You know them. They will judge you sooo quick your head will spin like on "The Exorcist". I'm a smart girl, and my comprehension rate is above average (not bragging, just saying), so after reading the Bible, I know that's know what Jesus would do. So I figured I could do me over here without the church. But the last 2ish years I've been really wanting a church home. I actually missed church...or at least what I thought church was supposed to be like. Last spring I actually found a church! Yay for the good people there too. But I've still got some habits leftover from my "heathen" times in college. And let's be honest, I'm not in a huge hury to break these habits either. I'm easing back from them, but I can't see myself just going cold turkey. Sometimes I really like to get tipsy and act a fool in a club. And sometimes Jeezy or T.I. just speak to me lol. In fact, sometimes I think Kanye is writing the soundtrack to my life (and no sister, you STILL can't tell me nothin!). So I'm struggling with balance. Sometimes I feel guilty about keeping these habits up. And it's not like drinking a bottle of wine or a 12 pack of beer (I get thirsty...) is more important than my mortal soul. But I like to...so what do I do? Lol, you're right. I'll pray about it.

Friends...how many of us have them?

Why is so much of life spent biting your tongue and doing things you don't really want to do? If that just part of being a grown up? Does it make me a selfish person because I'm sick of doing both? Of course I'm going to say no. But if someone is supposed to be your best good friend, doesn't that mean you shouldn't have to spend as much time biting your tongue?

Okay, so I got into an argument with a friend regarding some New Year's plans, and I had to bite my tongue (like I've been doing for over 2 years now) and I'm just a little tired of it. So I decided to stop. I wasn't rude, but I let her know how I felt, because if we're truly good friends, I should be able to do that. She wasn't pleased, but she said she understood. I don't know what's going to happen with that friendship, but to be honest, I don't care nearly as much as I thought I would. To me, the important thing was that I could stand up and say "this is how I feel and I won't apologize for it". I don't always agree with my friends, but I want them to feel like they can come to me and express their feelings.

Clothes:
I forgot to post on Friday, but I wore my brown shirt, brown printed skirt, brown footless tights, green corduroy jacket, and brown flats. Today I'm a true diva with my purple coat, black leotard, black patterned pants (borrowed), gold bangle, gold and purple bracelet (borrowed), thick gold beaded bracelet (borrowed), and gold earrings with purple stones (borrowed). I do love borrowing stuffs to accentuate the stuff I own...much cheaper than shopping